Why 'me-time' is so important for pregnant Mammas too

Every pregnancy is unique, it is said. And I largely agree with that statement. Round the clock hugging of the toilet may be the hallmark of one woman’s pregnancy, while moodswings may sum up another. Or it could be interchanging feelings of bliss and nervousness. I’ve spoken to so many pregnant women in recent months and if I were to make a very sweeping statement, you could say that there’s three phases to pregnancy (other than trimesters of course) that will resonate to some degree with most women out there.

The first phase I refer to as ‘surviving’ - that part of early pregnancy that’s all just a little bit, how should I say it…’WTF…?!’. Chances are you’re trying to manage at least one unpleasant symptom (more likely multiple), you haven’t reached that 12 week milestone just yet so are on tenterhooks and to top it off, you’re more than likely in stealth mode and not sharing your news widely just yet. So basically you’re trying to appear cool at all times despite the fact your body and mind has gone into overdrive in the most unpredictable of ways.

The second phase (for those of you who are lucky enough to get past ‘WTF’…) is what I refer to as BAU (business as usual) when you start to feel like your old self again - energy levels come back, boob sensitivity is under control and at times you may even forget altogether that you’re pregnant. So you tend to revert back to the status quo pre-pregnancy, which may mean throwing yourself into work and resuming your daily routines as you used to. What we tend to forget in this phase is the fact that our bodies are still working overtime to grow a new human.

The third phase (which is the one I’m currently in) is the time frame I’ve been referencing as ‘Oh crap…!’, in reference to the words that pass my lips every time I realise how much I have to do before my due date. All of a sudden, you’re channeling all your time and energy into figuring out nurseries, hospital bags, shopping lists, antenatal classes, etc. Your focus is firmly on getting everything ready on time, and if you’re anything like me, the to-do list feels like it’s getting longer rather than shorter. ‘Oh crap....!’

At 33 weeks, I’ve been reflecting on my pregnancy a lot recently. It feels like it has passed in the blink of an eye. As I get ready for life as I know it to change forever, it has just recently occurred to me that for the past 33 weeks, I’ve been focusing on getting everything and everyone else prepared for BabySu’s arrival but have spent practically no time preparing myself for what’s in store. With so much going on both physically and mentally and so many preparations to make, it’s just too easy to forget about yourself, for an entire nine months in many cases.

You may think to yourself that there’s more important stuff to be focusing on but I’m here to tell you that as a Mamma to be, self care needs to be top of your to-do list from the get go, and here’s why:

Oxytocin, AKA the LOVE hormone - You’ve probably heard of oxytocin - I think of it as that fuzzy feeling you get from something or someone you love (think amazing hugs and cute puppies). But did you know that it’s the number one hormone to help you along when you’re in labour (and breast-feeding too, and when you’re bonding with your new baby...). Not convinced? The work oxytocin comes from the Greek word ‘oxys’, meaning quick and ‘tokos’ meaning birth, so ‘quick birth’.

Boosting your oxytocin levels is something we should all be focusing on, on a regular basis and not just before labour. Some of the ways you can increase levels of the oxytocin hormone in your body include meditation, listening to relaxing music, physical exercise, spending quality time with friends and loved ones, and my favourite...massage.

You can find many more ways to boost your oxytocin levels with a little bit of research online. But if some dedicated, regular downtime spent relaxing is going to help with my labour, I certainly don’t need to be told twice to get my headphones on, switch off and take steps to dial up the warm and fuzzy feelings.

Good habits take time to form...two months to be exact - Depending on how far along you are in your pregnancy, you may be thinking about the type of mother you want to be or the type of home environment you want to create for your little one. We all want to bring our best self to this new chapter and if you’re like me, you can be a bit naive and assume that when your baby is handed to you, you’ll go straight into the Mamma mode you have envisioned for yourself. The reality is, it’s probably not going to be as simple as that. Especially if you’ve been neglecting yourself for the past nine months.

Personally, I’d love to envision myself going into motherhood feeling strong (both physically and mentally), calm and confident. Right now, if I were to honestly rate myself in each of these areas, I’d score somewhere in the region of 4-6 out of 10. And without me taking dedicated time to focus on myself, those scores are not going to change over the coming weeks. Which is why I’m making them a priority from here on out, carving out time on a daily basis to focus on my exercising, mindfulness, relaxation and positive reinforcement of all the good traits I possess that will help me in motherhood.

Ask yourself - how do you want to feel when your baby is handed to you, and are you taking enough time out for yourself to form the good habits that will help you be your best self.

Relaxation is not instant...it takes time - Just like good habits need time to form, relaxation is something that can’t be forced. I think it’s safe to assume that every one of us wants to feel as relaxed as possible ahead of giving birth but unfortunately there’s no ‘relax now’ button we can hit on our way to the hospital.

Understanding what makes you relax takes time too - so get experimenting now and figure out what works best for you. I’ve been told by many mothers that labour can be a marathon and not a sprint. And who goes into a marathon without training beforehand? Only the very brave. If you want your labour and entry to motherhood to be as relaxing an experience as possible, you need to put in the training early and often - no short-cuts here...get practicing your relaxing!

Don’t underestimate the work your body is doing behind the scenes - Your body is in a state of overdrive from the very get go, growing a fully functioning little human from scratch. From creating vital organs through to providing your little one with oxygen and all the nutrients they need, all the while protecting them from harmful germs and viruses...your body does not stop, not even for a minute. Add to that the volume of thought and consideration you’re giving to this little being and all that comes with them, at a subconscious level. When you think about it, it sounds exhausting, right? And the reality is that it is exhausting.

You’re going through one of the most physically and mentally challenging stages of your life and that’s before your baby has even made their grand entrance. There has never been a more critical time to make sure you’re taking good care of your own physical and emotional well-being.

Relaxed mammas make for more relaxed babies - It’s a fact! When we’re stressed out, we produce the stress hormone cortisol. High levels of cortisol in our bodies during pregnancy can cause babies to sleep less, cry more and be born underweight amongst other things. Carrying high levels of stress during pregnancy is something Mammas should proactively focus on avoiding, by taking regular steps to feel relaxed.

When I catch myself feeling overwhelmed by work, general baby worries or anxiousness, I’ve started to remind myself that if I don’t pause and take some time to wind down, my future self won’t thank me for it when I’m trying to soothe a baby who won’t sleep - that’s usually enough of an incentive to stop and put my feet up.

May hay while the sun shines...in other words, in a matter of days, weeks, months, you’ll have a little one occupying a lot more, if not all of your time. This time is sacred - put your needs first!

When you think about it, self-care and carving out the time for it is not just a no-brainer, but also one of the best investments you can make for your future role as a mother. Don’t put it off, make looking after yourself priority number one and not just some occasional afterthought. You deserve it and your future self will thank you for it. Check back next week for some tips of ways to take the best possible care of yourself.

Until then, do one thing today that will help you relax and feel good about yourself.

Take good care Mammas!

Sx