Written by me at 23 weeks pregnant in 2019 with my first child
So you find out you’re pregnant...cue celebrations, some predictable morning sickness, happiness, hospital appointments and lots of fast changes in your life. That’s what I was expecting when my test confirmed I was 1-2 weeks pregnant. The positive news initiated a frenzy of Google searches about what happens next. When do I have my scan? What foods should I avoid? What supplements do I take? Can I still workout? How big is my baby? When will I get a bump? Is it normal to feel tired? Cute pregnancy announcements. Does peanut butter harm my baby? What are the best maternity hospitals? The list goes on and on. Overnight, I had this sense of urgency to arm myself with as much information as possible in anticipation of all of the major changes that were about to come my way. As it turns out, many didn’t quite play out the way I thought they would.
Looking back, I was off the mark with some of my predictions, in some instances you might say I missed it completely.
Expectation: Pregnancy symptoms are basically some combination of nausea/morning sickness, cravings, tiredness, feeling emotional and having sore boobs.
Reality: While all of the above manifested themselves for me, nobody told me about the lesser known symptoms like having the weirdest and most vivid dreams, the sudden aversion to things you used to love (for me, this was not being able to stomach the smell of coffee), the gas (yup), and much, much more.
Expectation: You’ll sometimes feel tired and a bit fatigued
Reality: You’ll feel tiredness and fatigue like you have never known before and it can hit you like a tonne of bricks at any point in the day, in an instant. Some days are great and you feel ready to take on the world, others are days where making it from the bedroom to the kitchen for some ice-cream is something truly commendable
Expectation: The hormones will give you mood swings
Reality: The hormones will give you mood swings you never thought you were capable of. In my case, this was especially true. I became a different person in that first trimester. I could cry for hours, I exploded at my OH for trivial things to the point where he was worried he was never going to see the ‘old me’ again. I was emotionally all over the place and completely lost sight of my rational side. I’m very honest about this because it made my first months of pregnancy a nightmare for the both of us. It definitely isn’t as extreme for everyone but for me, this was my least favourite aspect of being pregnant. I’ll do a separate post on this at some point.
Expectation: You and your partner will live in a blissful state of happiness and excitement together
Reality: Even the most sympathetic, empathetic, emotionally intelligent partner in the world (do they even exist..?!) won’t always get how you’re feeling. And you have a tendency to rely on them more than ever for support because it’s likely you haven’t told anyone else you’re pregnant yet. In my haze of self-pity and ice-cream cravings, I tended to forget that this life-changing event was happening to both of us and completely missed the point that he would sometimes be feeling the pressure too. Which takes me to my next point...
Expectation: It’s a happy time
Reality: It’s a lonely time. For the first month or two at least, you probably won’t be sharing your news with anyone other than your partner or maybe a family member or close friend. In my case, my OH travels a lot. We also live abroad meaning there were some days where I felt very cut off and isolated. Especially on the days when I was feeling really nauseous or emotional. It’s a very personal decision to tell people before you get the all-clear, but if I was doing it over, I would definitely consider confiding in a family member or someone I felt comfortable with talking to. Some days, you just need to know you have someone to talk / vent / rant / get excited to!
Expectation: You’re going to eat right and take all the healthy steps you need to to give your baby the best possible start.
Reality: For six weeks straight, the only food I could stomach was bowls of Special K cereal with icy cold milk, sour fizzy jellies or biscuits dipped in condensed milk. Not a vegetable in sight.
Expectation: The do’s and don’t of pregnancy are clear and easy to follow
Reality: After 23 weeks, countless online articles, unsolicited advice from well-meaning friends and family, I’m still not sure whether it’s cool for me to eat ice-cream or smoked salmon. Or whether I should be continuing to jog for that matter, or how high my heart rate can be while exercising, or whether I can run a bubble bath. Ladies, don’t get overwhelmed with the conflicting information you’ll find online. Keep a list of questions for every time you visit your midwife or OB/GYN and spare yourself hours of online forum deciphering.
Expectation: I’ve just found out I’m pregnant...I have so much to do
Reality: Actually, you don’t. Now the waiting commences. I remember going to my GP at three weeks, expecting an in-depth consultation, tests and the works. In fact, the whole interaction lasted a total of 10 minutes and I felt a little underwhelmed afterwards. It was another five weeks before I had my first hospital appointment. Sit tight and get comfortable.
Expectation: 40 weeks feels like an eternity
Reality: It might seem that way in the beginning, but trust me...time flies! Especially after the first trimester is over.
Expectation: Being pregnant is easy - women have been doing it since the beginning of time
Reality: Being pregnant is physically and mentally challenging. And it’s no surprise when you actually stop and think about the amazingly cool thing your body is doing. It’s growing a human-being from scratch with a brain and senses and a beating heart. Don’t lose sight of this. You are doing something that is nothing short of miraculous. So cut yourself some slack, be proud and make sure you’re taking good care of yourself.
Everyone’s pregnancy journey is so different. For some, it’s smooth-sailing, for others it’s a daily battle. Either way, it’s a time you will never forget. If I could go back in time to my early pregnancy, here’s some of the things I’d tell myself:
Listen to your body and don’t feel guilty about it - Now is the time to put yourself first Mama. Take that nap, cancel that late evening plan, delegate away.
Don’t isolate yourself - if you’re feeling lonely at any point, talk to someone you can trust.
It’s ok to have mixed emotions - not only is it ok, it’s perfectly normal.
Step away from the laptop - don’t get bamboozled with every last thing you read online. Talk to your midwife or OB/GYN instead.
Know what needs to be organised now and what can wait - Make your first doctor’s appointment and let them guide you from there.
Enjoy it!! Your pregnancy will fly by - make sure you’re documenting your journey with photos or a journal. You’ll want the memories (well, most of them!)
Sx
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